He sat staring at his watch in utter incomprehension, trying to figure out exactly what the little black squiggles meant. The one at the top was twelve, right? Was the big hand for the minutes or the hours?

In the place of mind-numbingly intricate details of the earth’s last days described in the book of Revelation, we are given poorly developed characters that seem to accidentally (almost mindlessly, really) fall into the aftermath of the Rapture. Isn’t there anything more?

The critics called it stunning, brilliant, a masterpiece and said you’d be hard-pressed to find a more adventurous and rewarding release this year. They’re right: the album is a masterful blend of innovation, prophecy and obscurity, both musically and lyrically.

Papa said that when you can see a neighbor’s house from your own doorway, it is time to move, so we sold the house that Papa had built for Mama when they were first married, along with all the land that he had worked and slaved on these many years.

We must remember that Christianity is not so limp-wristed as to avoid all mockery of wrong positions. But we must also remember that the purpose of satire should always be to bring about repentance, and when sarcasm is causing undue offense, it should be pulled back.

Forget the Shakira of today - a Britney Spears clone of dyed hair and provocative attire. Go back to her earlier music, and you’ll find she has something worth listening to.

Between the sea and the land I watch as the milky sails are set and the anchor grindingly raised. The time for departure has come. But I am not ready.

It seems that many of us think that we have been made alive in Christ in order to be pale-faced stoics exercising ourselves in an orgy of mental gymnastics. Not so, dear hearts. The head games we once played are dead.

Pierce Pettis is best known as the guy who pens tunes for the likes of Garth Brooks. I will always consider him one of the most gifted songwriters of our time, using word and song to describe the mundane and the magical all around us.

Of course, John Bailey didn’t know it was a gryphon. In fact, he had no idea what the animal in his barn was.